Small changes...

I'm back to the daily work routine, after enjoying a very therapeutic vacation. The time away from the office made me realize that it was more of a necessity than just a desire to just take a vacation. Already, I can feel a huge change in my disposition. Before I left on holiday, I was stressed, overwhelmed and mentally exhausted. Being back in the office now, the culprits to the stress are still there, but I feel like I can manage them much better. The time allowed me to regroup and get my focus back on track.

While away, I realized that I didn't have to make drastic changes in order to create a better working environment for myself. The smallest change I made landed the biggest results! It is in my own perception of the "stress" that is the root of the matter. I learned that I can either feed in to the difficult situation & allow my stress level to grow, or I can simply redirect my energy in to something positive. It's not to say that the difficult situation will resolve itself by doing this, that's not the intent. But, by turning my focus away from the discomfort, I've taken away it's energy & eliminated it's power to control me. It may sound a bit hokey but it works!

Another change is in how I approach a situation. It is up to me to choose to have either a positive or negative intent. No matter how difficult the situation, if I address it from a positive place, then the energy that I'm putting forth is not of malice, but of genuine good. This can be met with a negative force in return, because - who am I kidding, not everyone is experiencing the same "Kumbaya" epiphany that I am! But, for me, it's about knowing that I'm living a life that is putting positive energy into the world. So what, if I happen to get a few figurative "bloody noses" along the way? So be it. I may get knocked down & I may be faced with resistance & negative response. It's up to me to continue with a positive approach, to strive to be a better, more positive person. This is not going to happen over night but the changes are within me. The peacefulness that I am beginning to feel is well worth more than any "bloody nose" that I may encur along the way.

The more difficult change I am making for myself is a continual "work in progress". It's about making myself a priority. I know I've mentioned this in previous posts, but this is truly a difficult one for me. I guess I feel that by taking time out for myself, I am in some way being selfish & I'm letting others down when I say that I can't help them or be there for them. Take for example a day full of meetings earlier this week, which happens quite frequently at work. When meetings run back to back, I rarely have time for lunch! I end up working well into the evening just to catch up on pending emails from the day. This situation happened on Thursday. One of the earlier meetings got cut short & my boss requested that we resume it after another meeting finished. By the time we were ready to meet again, it was already 5pm. Thursday nights are my scheduled weight loss meetings. In recent months, I have given up attending these because of work; as a consquence, I put on 5.2lbs since September! How frustrating! I promised myself that I would no longer compromise my meetings for work! When I returned from the holidays, I told my boss that I was back on the program and I planned not to miss anymore meetings. When we headed into the 5pm meeting, I told my boss that the latest I would stay was 5:30pm. It may sound silly, but this was a huge step for me! He looked somewhat surprised, but when I explained to him about my meeting, he understood. At 5:30pm, I got up and left, even though it was still underway! And you know what? Nothing bad came of it! In fact, quite the opposite occurred. I weighed in at the meeting & lost 2lbs! I caught up with some of the members that I hadn't seen in months, and the topic of the meeting really hit home! One small victory for myself!

I know I will encountered challenges in my quest for finding a proper balance in my life! As long as I stay focused & remember why I NEED this, I know I can continue making small changes in achieving it!